The best girl I ever dated, and her meeting with TIMMY!

So my name isn't Timmy. But if you ever watch south park you know what I am saying when I say "TIMMY!". So back in college I had recently broken up with a rediculously long term girlfriend. We had been dating for years, but it was time to go our seperate ways and enjoy the freedom that we have.

Now I was a part of a partying organization in college known as Rugby. Fun stuff. Basically thursdays and saturdays were guaranteed to be drunken disasters. Games were great because you just run around and smash the hell out of whomever has the ball. Fun times all around.

Now with my team there was a rule that we would never turn anyone away. If you were a dude, welcome and you should think about playing. If you were a girl, welcome and someone will try and sleep with you. If you were an ugly lesbian girl who hates men, welcome and make out with a chick, it is just fun to watch.

In the spirit of this rule we would get freshman guys and let them in no worries, and get them hammered and try and get them laid if we could. In our minds we wanted them to join the team so it made sense. Plus, that is probably why all the students liked us. They always had somewhere to go and get royally shitcanned.

So one freshman seemed really out of place. I mean this guy had a deer in the headlights look, and I thought he was going to piss himself, so I decided to try and calm him down, get him drunk and see if I could con him into playing rugby. When I started talking to him I realized IMMEDIATELY that he had never hooked up with a girl in his short young life. So I was now determined to get him laid. I went straight to one of the *guaranteed* ones if you know what I mean, and set him on his merry way.

Unknown to me, this freshman did have a friend from highschool who also came to our school. She was cute. I mean she was tiny, tight bodied, sweet and innocent. So he introduces me later tht night because she was nervouse they shouldn't be there or some crap like that. Well I take her, get her a beer and start chatting her up. She is really fucking cool. I mean she is smart, fairly funny, and clearly just a witty kid. Now I was a Junior, and she was a freshman, so I really didn't think anything of getting involved with her, I mean really it is like fish in a barrell and that just takes the fun out of it. So when she asked me what my name was I reply straight faced "Timmy". I really don't know why I did it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Well, we ended up staying out drinking until like 6 am. At that point she had me. I mean she was REALLY cool, we had a blast, we went all over the place just going nuts, and she was able to hold her liquor, not a minor feet when with a 280lb rugby player. So we go back to my place on the other end of campus.

In the morning I start cooking some food, my teammate and housemate gets off the random canadian girl he is drilling at that point in his life, trust me that will be a great blog, and heads to the kitchen. We are chatting and he is clearly hurting, so I make some food for all. Good times good times.

As I am cooking up comes the girl I hooked up with, and she says "Hey timmy, do you have any advil, I have a killer headache". My buddy looks at me, looks at her, and it clicks. He is fucking cracking up. She has no idea why, I slug him, and the fucker is making Cartman jokes all over the place. So the girl and I head back down to my room and eat our food in peace.

A couple hours, and a couple romps later, I ask if she wants to go back to the rugby house for a birthday party we are having that day. Did I mention this chick was AMAZING? She is down, and we start to head over. On the way clarity hits my head. I mean this chick is going to freak out if she finds out that my name isn't Timmy. Then literally as I am thinking how I am going to talk my way out of this she hits me with "Tim, I am really glad I met you. You seem like a really nice guy". FUCK.

Well, we get to the rugby house where they are playing poo dollar, one of the funniest college games ever where you basically put poo on a buck and leave it on the sidewalk. People reach for it, pick it up and are totally grossed out. All the while a pack of 20 immature little shitheads are peering out of windows and someone yells out "POO DOLLAR!". My girl is not impressed with my friends at this, but she still has deer in the headlights looks for me, so I am freaking out about what will happen.

Well we walk in and sure enough they all yell "TIMMY!". I am confused. I look over and there is my housemate just rolling in fucking laughter. Half the team is laughing, all the girls are laughing but feel really bad for this girl with me. My Ex I learned had just been kicked out of the party so she wouldn't ruin this joke. I feel like shit.

Well fast forward three weeks and I am still dating this girl. She is falling head over heels for me and I think she is amazing. I mean she is great. But she thinkss my name is Timmy. She always wondered why everyone always yelled at the top of their voice "TIMMY" when I walked into the house, but I guess she just didn't question it. Anyways, the next week her father was coming to visit.

She wanted me to meet this guy. So I go out to dinner with him, hang out and everything. We have a few drinks, and he is clearly not happy she is dating a junior on the rugby team. But eventually as the dinner proceeds and we have drinks, he begins to like me. All is good.

Then it happens. The next day after her father goes home she says "Hey Tim, I want a coke, you got a buck?". I tell her to grab it out of my wallet. She sees my licence. She doesn't say a fucking thing.

I never did hear from her again... I think she transfered. If you are reading this now, you must know who you are.

Sorry... kind of.
It was a fucking great story.