The difference between a bachelor party and what women try

Group mentalities always amaze me. When a group of guys get together, it always starts out nice. We are generally very appropriate and just sit back enjoying a beer. But for some reason as the night wears on, the conversation and behavior takes a turn to the dark side. It is as if it is a competition to see who can come up with the most degrading statement to describe a woman as beautiful, the most insulting statement to describe a woman who clearly has no interest in being hit on by a pack of 10 drunk assholes (imagine that).

When a bachelor party occurs, this is taken to a higher level. Where normally there are limitations by social norms and a lack of motivation, when a bachelor party occurs the group has been psyching up the night in their collective minds through jokes and conversation for some time. It means that no matter how innocent the night may be intended to be, it will degrade. Somewhere in the back of each individual's mind has been brewing ideas and concepts that stay in the subconcious until the moment of release (normally 5 or 6 drinks later).

On the other hand, women for one reason or another are just not naturally driven to the same actions. There are of course exceptions to the rule, and those are the coolest chicks and some of my best friends are that way, but as a rule of thumb, I have noticed they are more reserved and almost incapable of seeing the things that are obvious to guys. I am not sure if this is a societal or biological influence, but it fucking sucks for the split tails of the world. You are all missing out on the greatest moments in single life.

For women, a bachellorette party involves drinking alcohol through a penis straw. That is stupid. You don't see a guy drinking beer from a vagina shaped mug. Seriously, that is fucking weak, and I would ritualistically beat any buddy of mine who did that. Then the girls tend to have dildo's and possibly a male stripper around, only because they have thought it through for 2 weeks and want to do *what the guys would do*.

That mentality is the problem. Guys don't plan the evening. They may make a plan, and they probably will order a stripper. But in all honesty, the bachelor party is very spur of the moment and just a 'no cares' kind of situation.

On the other hand, women dominate the shower events. Lets be honest, for many women this is much more fun than their bachelorette party anyways. I mean they have planned their wedding since they were 2 years old. They had flowers, dresses, guest lists, dinner and invitations all picked out. They had their bridesmaids and Maid of Honor lined up and just rotated it depending on which ones they were having a tiss with that week. The only thing they didn't have was their future husband.

The shower is like the womens version of an olypic medal ceremony. These girls are winnin prizes for finally getting a guy they think they can mold into the guy they want. Its like "John's great, and will be perfect once I change these 42 personality traits. Thanks for the toaster!".

Guys have given their wedding 12 minutes of thought. Ever. Most of it involved the wedding night because they think they might finally get to stick their future wife in the ass. They simply don't think about that crap because it isn't fun. Personally, this blog is the longest I have ever thought about weddings and I have been in 3 wedding parties this year. The whole time I was thinking about the bridesmaids and if I could pull a wedding crashers type night. The mentality of a groom is easy to understand.

The guy buys the ring because he figures it will make her happy and he probably skipped lunch that day. Sure he loves her, and can't wait to spend the rest of his life with the woman she is right now. The woman who accepts him for who he is and his 42 faults. The woman who will never change. He may have heard of a friend who made a mistake by not asking the girl he loved or something like that, and so he thinks, wtf. She is cool. Besides, he immediately knows that the bachelor party will be fucking sweet. All of a sudden the thought of that night/week of debauchery overtakes his logic and control. Next thing you know he is pulling a ring out of his pocket and his balls are screaming "DON'T DO IT! I want another cooch still!". His brain is like "fuck... listen to the balls.". But, the girl has that doe in the headlights look, and he doesn't want to hurt her because he actually does love the cunt. So he proposes, and dies a little inside.

When (read if) I ever get married, I have promised 2 of my female friends that they can come to the bachelor party. This is probably a really bad idea seeing as one of them can't keep her mouth fucking shut, but she is my friend. They really want to see how the shit that happens, happens. I just hope that having boobs in the group doesn't ruin the male mentality, but luckily given my friends I don't think it will be an issue.